Release of all liability

Read carefully. Or don’t. Nobody has.

1. 01

   Assumption of risk. Queenstown contains bungy jumps, jet boats, go-karts and fifteen bad influences. I am going anyway.

2. 02

   Dignity. Any dignity I bring is surrendered at arrivals and may be returned on Sunday, damaged.

3. 03

   The ref. Yasper and Nic’s rulings are final, even when they are wrong. Especially then.

4. 04

   Evidence. Every photo taken this weekend may be used in a wedding speech without notice.

5. 05

   Hangovers. The organisers accept no responsibility for Saturday morning. Or Sunday morning.

6. 06

   Disputes. Complaints about scoring may be lodged in writing, where they will be used as a coaster.

7. 07

   The groom. Sam is to be returned to his bride-to-be in roughly the condition he was found. “Roughly” is doing a lot of work.

Signing also commits you to buying Sam at least one drink. Void where sober.